Video: Subway Flood Rat Is All Of Us Today

The floodwaters are rising, friends, washing out Grand Central Parkway and hammering through the myriad cracks in our beleaguered transit system. The remains of what was once Hurricane Florence have spent the past few hours lashing the city with slanty sideways rain and cracking ominous thunder whips over our heads. Yet as the tide comes crashing in, as the storm swamps subway stations across our metropolis, a new hero emerges. Reader, meet Flood Rat. He's just trying to keep his head above water in this crazy mixed-up world.

Look at this poor devil, huddled desperately behind the bulwark of a subway column as the water rushes in, recalling with eerie accuracy those finals scenes in Titanic when frigid ocean currents sweep around the old couple's bed. Look at this stalwart rodent, boldly refusing to cede its ground to The Weather, even when defeat seems all but certain. Did you ever expect to feel such deep-seated kinship with a rat? No, I do not expect you did. But that is the visceral power of Flood Rat.

Unfortunately, Flood Rat's precise location remains a mystery—for now—and so we cannot float in a tiny raft to rescue humanity's new mascot. We will update if and when we learn Flood Rat's coordinates, so you can send supplies.