Gathering Storm Clouds Promise To Wash Away Your Weekend Plans

A storm's a-brewin'

I hope your weekend plans leave room for cataclysmic weather, because the forecast is in and with it comes a second helping of the wild and windy storms that battered the tri-state area earlier this week. Heed this advance warning and shove some waders into your work bag tomorrow morning, because you will surely need them when The Weather floods the whole subway system.

The one nice thing I can tell you is that the temperature outside should actually be rather pleasant on Friday: it will start in the high 50s and rise to 68 by 4 p.m., according to the National Weather Service. Hold onto that warm feeling though, because here comes the other shoe: heavy rain becomes more or less guaranteed around 7 p.m., and should persist through Saturday evening. Come Saturday night, temps will have settled in the high 50s, low 60s range, with a chance of rain projected through Sunday.

And! You know how they say (they=Stevie Nicks) that thunder only happens when it's raining? We've established that it will be raining in excess for the foreseeable, so naturally it will also be thundering extravagantly. The NWS predicts that thunderstorms will go from a likelihood to a near certitude around 9 p.m. on Friday night, and will persist until about 11 a.m. on Saturday, at which point they will...cease abruptly? Maybe? In any case, these actually look like ideal sleeping conditions, unless you too have a cat who feels compelled to rampage when confronted with loud noises.

Anyway, have a look at your future—spend some time with it, really absorb what's coming down the pipe.

See for yourself. (Screengrab: National Weather Service)

With surface wind speeds suspended between about 15 and 21 MPH, I imagine you will feel like the captain of a ship being tossed around on a turbulent sea, gripping the wheel with white-knuckled hands as the salt spray pounds through the holes where windows used to be before that rogue wave knocked them out. Or maybe you will know what it feels like to be the car driving through the car wash, blasted with high-power jets from all angles. Please keep in mind that parts of New Jersey might get blasted by 60-MPH winds, and don't complain.

Speaking of New Jersey, the weekend forecast sounds like it will bring exactly the same brand of meteorological antics that set streets ablaze in the Garden State last Monday, so it may be wisest just to stay inside. At least until the risk of flash flooding subsides on Saturday.

But you know what they say: April showers bring May...moreshowers, that's it right? Just more rain forever and ever into infinity? According to the weather widget on my phone, this is your life now. Settle in!