Extra Extra: Trump Demands Investigation Into Mueller Report's Oranges

<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/dtanist/32576733327/in/pool-gothamist/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">david tan's flickr</a>

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• Bloomberg is reportedly re-reconsidering whether to run for president now.
• Trump, who has the best brain, repeatedly mangled the word "origins" today while talking about the Mueller Report, instead saying "oranges" three times.
• Trump also didn't remember that his father was born in New York, not Germany, but that's not apples and oranges amirite?
• The brilliant Joanna Newsom will play four intimate solo dates at El Teatro at El Museo del Barrio in September.
• Tricia Newbold, the White House whistleblower who accused her own office of rampant mismanagement of the security clearances, did something incredible afterwards: she went back to work there.
• This is probably the single worst April Fool's Day prank.
• Trump is overselling his exoneration and his aides are worried that is gonna bite him in the butt.
• The only good thing about Howard Schultz’s potential presidential campaign is comedian Conner O'Malley's fan videos.
• Learn how to stop emails from spying on you.
• Dire headline of the day: "Finance World Faces Chaos As Patagonia Rejects Orders Of Corporate Power Vests."
• SEE IT: A Brooklyn driver "lost control of her car" and turned a quiet Bushwick street "into a demolition derby."
• We regret to inform you that college-decision reveals are now a thing too.
• And finally, this is definitely more of an Ewok than a dog, right?