A FREAKIN RACCOON IN THE SUBWAY!!!???!!!

Feb. 19, 2019, 5:03 p.m.

An L train station in Canarsie has a raccoon problem.

cataloupealone's flickr

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While some New Yorkers have accused the de Blasio administration of being in cahoots with the urban raccoon population in order to propagate a problematic pro-procyonid agenda (...stick with me here), not all politicians are in the pocket of Big Trash Panda. State Senator Roxanne Persaud told officials at a transportation budget hearing today that raccoons have been encroaching upon the E. 105th Street L train station in Canarsie for months now.

"Several of my constituents have mentioned seeing them in the station," she said. "Raccoons tend to live there," she added, asking the MTA officials to do something about the hostile takeover. It may have been...slightly off-topic to the other matters at hand.

Persaud previously tweeted about the raccoons last summer after hearing about complaints from constituents.

But this infestation goes back much farther than that—the sighting in the tweet below stems from 2013. Which makes us wonder...what if the raccoons were there first, and humans have been encroaching upon their land?

Like pigeons, cats and the occasional emotional support hen, raccoons have been known to ride the train as well. Who could forget this illegal pet raccoon who stole NYers hearts?

Here are a few more sightings of the dangerous beasts who have cute little hands that they use to hold things, just like a person would, squee:

But never forget: despite the fact that NYers can't "possess a raccoon without a license, and licenses are not issued for pet wildlife," the city still encourages humans to coexist peacefully with our distemper-infected trash-nibbling brothers and sisters.

To conclude: "A FREAKIN RACOON [sic] IN THE SUBWAY!!!???!!!"