Video: Stephen Colbert Shows What Happens When You Miss A Week Of Trump News
June 6, 2017, 11:56 a.m.
"Of course the Internet lost their covfefe over this. Why did the president type that? It was the new, 'what color is the dress,' but instead of 'white versus blue,' it was 'sleepy versus stroke.'"
Stephen Colbert has been off for the last week, and returned to Late Show last night to catch up on a significant amount of new Trump news. "A revised version [of 'Trump's Muslim travel ban'] is headed to the Supreme Court, and the administration's only chance of winning is not calling it a 'travel ban,'" Colbert explained. "This thing should get approved by the Supreme Court as long as nobody calls it a 'travel ban.'" And...
People, the lawyers and the courts can call it whatever they want, but I am calling it what we need and what it is, a TRAVEL BAN!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 5, 2017
That's right, we need a TRAVEL BAN for certain DANGEROUS countries, not some politically correct term that won't help us protect our people!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 6, 2017
"Mr. President, that was the one thing you’re not supposed to say!" Colbert said. "That's like going to an AA meeting and shouting, 'Who wants shots?!'" But wait, because there were more tweets...
The Justice Dept. should have stayed with the original Travel Ban, not the watered down, politically correct version they submitted to S.C.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 5, 2017
The Justice Dept. should ask for an expedited hearing of the watered down Travel Ban before the Supreme Court - & seek much tougher version!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 5, 2017
"Mr. President, you can't criticize the Justice Department—you control the Justice Department," Colbert said. "To quote third-grade boys everywhere: why are you hitting yourself? Quit hitting yourself!"
But of course, Colbert also had some old business from last week to catch up on as well: "I know this happened five days ago, but I will not be denied the chance to enjoy this one," he said, referring to the infamous "covfefe" tweet. "Of course the Internet lost their covfefe over this. Why did the president type that? It was the new, 'what color is the dress,' but instead of 'white versus blue,' it was 'sleepy versus stroke.'"
He also was able to cover Trump's withdrawal from the Paris Climate Change Agreement and the latest on the Trump/Russia scandal, as well as Jared Kushner's secret meetings with Russian bankers: "Just when you thought you knew what was going on, it turns out it was exactly what you thought."
At the top of the monologue, Colbert got into Trump kicking off "Infrastructure Week" on Monday: "It's like Shark Week, except American infrastructure might actually kill you."
Seth Meyers also returned from vacation with a heck of a lot of news to catch up on, including Trump's Twitter insults directed at London Mayor Sadik Khan. Khan’s spokesperson said he had "more important things to do" than "respond to Donald Trump’s ill-informed tweets," which Meyers could relate to: "It’s true: responding to Donald Trump’s ill-informed tweets can be a full-time job. And I know, because it’s my full-time job."
