Video: Noah Syndergaard Steals Phillies Mascot's ATV, Hearts

We're just over a week into baseball season and the Mets are first in the National League East. Which means, of course, it's only a matter of time until every single one of their starting players loses a limb or cracks their groin or gets bitten by a zombie, but for now things are going well. To celebrate, last night Noah Syndergaard—god of Lightning and my sports heart—stole the Phillie Phanatic's ATV and zipped away on the field. SWOON.

Syndergaard has a history of feuding with mascots. He and Mr. Met are in a terrible battle on social media, as Thor has repeatedly alluded to stealing the plush baseball's lady. In retaliation, Mr. Met cozied up to Syndergaard's mom:

The Phanatic, meanwhile, has suffered at the hands of baseball players in the past:

It's a hard-knock life for a mascot, indeed. RIP, Dandy.