Jon Stewart Gave The Media An Amazing Trump Pep Talk On Colbert, Believe Me

Jon Stewart made one of his mandated bimonthly visits to Late Show with Stephen Colbert last night to take a break from ranting at animals and deliver an important pep talk to the media about their breakup with Donald Trump (and also giggle a lot with Colbert). And much like his last appearance, in which he wore a dead animal on his head and read fake presidential orders, this felt like an instant classic segment which made us long for Stewart to be back on air on a weekly or daily basis.

"Hey media, I heard Donald Trump broke up with you," Stewart said after going through some lowlights of Trump's recent media bashing. "Stings a little, doesn’t it? Finally thought you’d met your match: a blabbermouth who’s as thin-skinned and narcissistic as you are. Well, now it’s over. Well, good riddance, I say! Kick. Him. To. The. Curb.”

"Media, it is time for you to get your groove back. Because let's face facts, you kinda let yourself go a little bit for these past few years. Put on a few pundits. Obsessing 24 hours a day 7 days a week about this one guy...And the whole time you’re all chasing after Donny, the rest of us are thinking, 'Can’t you see he’s an asshole?'"

“No, you try to defend him. ‘Oh, no, no, that’s just primaries Donald. That’s just election Donald. You’ll see. We can change him. He’ll get presidential!'" Stewart continued. "Yeah, how’d that work out? It didn’t. You know why? Because 70-year-old men don’t get less cranky or racist as time goes by."

"Look, media, I’m not saying the breakup is going to be easy. You’re going to see your ex swiping far-right with every Tom, Drudge, and Breitbart. And, from what I heard, they do anal," Stewart said before asking Colbert whether he got "them" cancelled for using the word 'anal' on air. "But here’s my point, media. This breakup has given you an amazing opportunity for self-reflection and improvement. Instead of worrying about whether Trump is un-American or if he thinks you’re the enemy or if he’s being mean to you or if he’s going to let you back in the briefings, do something for yourself. Self-improvement, take up a hobby. I recommend journalism. You know, I think this breakup is going to be the best thing that ever happened to you."

Anyway, racists gonna race!