'IT' Teaser Trailer Will Tap Into Your Deepest Fears (Of Murderous Clowns)

It...is very good at applying lipstick

The "official teaser trailer" (why did we as a society allow a trailer to another trailer be a thing, I ask you) to the new adaptation of Stephen King's IT dropped this morning. Based on the novel that put clowns out of business, the story follows a group of youngsters battling an ancient, alien evil that's murdering and feeding off children.

It looks like this new film will open in the same way as the novel and the TV mini series from 1990, with doomed little Georgie chasing his paper boat through the rain water until it ends up falling into the sewer, where he meets the titular monster, played by Bill "brother of Alexander" Skarsgard.

We're given a brief introduction to Derry, Maine, where "people die or disappear six times the national average—and that's just grown ups; kids are worse...way, way worse." Maybe move away then? This has never made sense to me, but I guess Maine is pretty nice in August.

"IT," or Pennywise, among other names, can transform itself into whatever you fear the most, and thus we get a few introductions into these characters' issues. There's a creepy, dilapidated house they'll definitely go inside even though they shouldn't. One kid, probably Mike Hanlon, appears to be afraid of meat lockers? Same. (Book readers may recognize that clip as a potential adaptation of "The Black Spot," an important aspect of Hanlon's backstory.)

One scene that appears to be faithfully recreated from the book and miniseries involves a massive amount of blood exploding from Beverly Marsh's sink.

Cue the red balloons and ominous utterances of "we all float down here."

The filmmakers—which include a screenplay credit for Cary Joji Fukunaga, who was original supposed to direct—opted to disrupt the flashback storytelling device employed by King's novel and the mini series. Instead of meeting Bill Denbrough, Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak and the rest of the team as adults and allowing them to share the stories from their childhood, we enter the action in real-time as the children battle the monster.

If a second film gets made, it appears the plan will be to have the adult characters revisit their childhood home to face off with Pennywise again.

Most of the internet hand wringing has been about topping the masterful performance by Tim Curry in the original TV miniseries. But I know what the new film is really missing.